I did it! I bought a new bedspread for my bedroom! I know that might not seem like much of a feat to some but for some reason, it is giving me reason to celebrate. Why has it been so hard to make a decision on a simple bedspread? Could it possibly be because everything is so West Elm-y and taupe – and my house isn’t?
Could it be that I keep hearing the college kids making fun of all of us moms for having jewel tone bedspreads and being way behind the times? Is it because when you do a search on Bed, Bath and Beyond for “bedspreads” you get 1600 plus choices? Who can possibly narrow that down? Six. Teen. Hundred. Mostly taupe!
Why is this so hard? Could it possibly be because a man and a woman share said bedroom? I think so.
When we were engaged I remember having dinner with friends that were also engaged and they were, like us, in the process of picking out the colors and patterns for their home. The man had one request – None of those swirly, flower things.
Swirly flower things?
Yeah.
You mean paisleys?
Exactly. They aren’t manly. No paisleys.
There you have it. The master bedroom has to accommodate his and her tastes. I’ve struggled because what catches my eye would not be in my husband’s top five. What he would prefer, I would not. So we try to strike a balance. Not too feminine and not too masculine.
I’ve been in master bedrooms that make me wonder if the husband is even allowed in the room. And if he is allowed, does he even want to be in it. So much lace and ruffles…
I have had friends tell me that their man doesn’t care. Oh, really? Did you ask him? And was his answer just a shrug? Or did he claim his undying affection for dainty doilies? My guess is, he just shrugged and that was interpreted as his undying affection for dainty doilies.
I find, more and more, that women are trying to make their husbands to be just like them. We often forget God created men very differently. They aren’t just big, burly versions of us. They are wired differently.
A few years back, we invited some family friends to spend the weekend boating with us. We have three girls and they have three girls…and a boy. After a long day of boating, everyone was trying to get showered before dinner. The boy went in to shower.
His mom and I were sitting in the living room when the 11-year-old boy came out of the room, stood in front of his mom and with a quivering, but steady, voice said, “I.NEED.AXE.SOAP!”
“What?”
“Axe soap! I need Axe soap!”
“What in the world is Axe soap?” his mother asked. She was perplexed. Her son was on the verge of tears over soap? What in the world?
The boy tried not to cry – or yell – as he said with clinched fists, “Axe soap? Manly soap!”
We tried hard not to laugh and assured the pre-pubescent man-child that we would find him some manly soap. His poor mom had no idea what Axe soap was but she agreed to get him some.
Poor young man. He had spent two full days with six girls and even had to don a purple and pale yellow life jacket because that’s all we had. The breaking point was the sweet-pea scented bath gel! It put him over the top. He may have to hang out with girls, wear a girly life jacket but he sure wasn’t going to smell like a girl!
Sometimes, I think we women try to make our husbands fit into our molds. Our feminine molds. We don’t appreciate the differences in men and women. We often are at odds with the opposite sex because we don’t accept they are, well…the opposite sex.
I’ve had girlfriends mad at their husbands because they didn’t act like their girlfriends. Duh! He isn’t your girlfriend. He’s your man. And he’s wired very differently
In the Bible, men and women are addressed separately. That is because we function differently.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Men can cook. My husband is living proof. Thank the good Lord! And I can use an electric saw and a drill better than a lot of men.
I’m talking about our rock bottom needs. Men need to be respected. And women need to be loved.
Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Eph. 5:22-25 Msg.
I hope my new comforter arrives soon. The one without the lace. Without the ruffles. Without the manly stripes or camo.
Am I alone? Or do you struggle with the man/woman differences? Do you treat your man like a man – or your girlfriend?
Let me hear from you.
Stopping by from Wedded Wednesdays…. love this story, manly soap, that's too funny!
Picking out curtains for our kitchen was similar in my house.
My husband gave a "Nothing girly" rule and I remember spending a terrible amount of time at the fabric store trying to figure out what constituted girly. I had wanted valances that were 2 xs as long at the window so that they ruffled nicely. But was that girly? And we had agreed on blue and white, but the white had a subtle pattern on it of fleur de lis. Was that girly?
I was seriously just staring at fabric for like an hour!
Finally I took some pictures, got an okay, and went ahead.
If you're wondering, he really likes the curtains. He did shoot down my first idea of purple curtains, but that's okay. The kitchen is his too.
My husband liked soap that smells like fruit so long as it's a many color. Citrus scent is great so long as it's not pink!