It’s a Wonder!

It’s a wonder!

We got a new mattress today after I don’t know how many years. Mattress shopping made me wonder how in the world my husband and I have managed to share the same bed for our 36 years of marriage.

In the early days we were so poor, we didn’t have a lot of options. His dad bought our first bed – a waterbed. They were all the rage back then and if you had one, you know why our generation is marked by fortitude and success. There was no such thing as ordering a bed online, waiting for it to be delivered to your door, open a small box and wait for a big bed to unfold.

WE had to make sure we knew where the garden hose and “burper plug” thingy was before we could set up or move our bed. We had to take off a window screen, feed the hose outside or use a special attachment for the bathroom sink. It took two people.

“Okay, turn the water on!” one would call out. The other one made sure the water was going in the bed and not leaking. After hours of filling and making the water meter whirl, someone would say, “Okay, turn it off.”

Then came the burping part. We had to make sure all the air bubbles were out of the bed. Hubby would hold the open valve up high and I would logroll from the head of the bed to the foot of the bed to force the bubbles out of the “burper plug” thingy. Repeat. Repeat.

If we did it right, only air came out and not extra water. Then we would add the anti-algae solution and hope there weren’t any leaks. Or that the fancy baffles didn’t shift.

With all of that hassle, I still sort of miss a good waterbed. Where did they go?

I guess the couples behind us didn’t want to have to haul their mattress in a wheelbarrow through the house, pay a huge water bill and have a waterbed dedicated garden hose. And maybe they wanted to be able to rent an apartment on the second floor.

But are they as tough as my generation? Might not have the waterbed level fortitude but they might be a tad smarter.

Anyway, we didn’t want to order a bed so we went to the mattress store last weekend so we could test the beds.

After laying on nearly every bed in the store, I realized it is a wonder we’ve been able to sleep in the same bed all these years. We like different bed features.

He loved the firm bed that raises your feet and head, cools you, has lumbar support, vibrates, has an automatic nightlight and plays music through your bed.

I, on the other hand, don’t want a complicated bed. I want a plush, “regular” bed that hugs me every night.

So, like most things in a good, healthy marriage, we compromised. We got a regular, firm-ish bed. No bells and whistles. Just a comfy bed.

We hope.

Compromise – on both sides – is key to a healthy, happy marriage. If only one person compromises most of the time, it really isn’t compromise, is it? Marriage works best with give and take.

Between my grandparents and parents, I have seen 199 years of marriage. I have seen what happens when compromises happen on both sides and when they don’t. When only one person is compromising, strife and resentment can take hold and create unhealthy patterns.

For me, one of the things that makes compromise easier is starting from a place of knowing I am loved and believing the best of Hubby. I can trust my compromise will not be abused.

I just hope that with all of the compromising we did at the mattress store, we will be able to sleep tonight. At least one of us.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful,

and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:7